I’ve mentioned it before, but I’ve been thinking a lot about discipline. You may have noticed The Spirit of the Disciplines has been on my nightstand quite a few weeks. Dallas Willard is a philosopher, which I’m not, so I’ve been “chewing.” You may have also noticed my most recent read, Letters to a Young Gymnast by Nadia Comaneci. Though different in genre, they both address the issue of discipline.

I guess the reason I’m so interested in discipline is because I want more of it. Funny, I say it as though there’s some hidden key to obtaining discipline but in reality, it’s just a matter of doing it. There’s absolutely nothing difficult about the concept. It is hard to endure the pain or discomfort of training your mind, body or soul. It’s also hard to be patient during the time it takes to reach your goals. But generally speaking, if you have a definite goal in mind, it’s relatively simple to figure out how to get there.

I know my goals so why do I feel like I’m not making any progress toward attaining them? I admit it’d be nice to reach the goal without having to train, although if I’m not willing to put in the effort, my “goals” are probably not really goals but just good ideas.

There’s another factor I don’t particularly like to deal with either–loneliness. In order to be disciplined, I must be willing to be lonely. It’s easy to go along with the crowd, but if I want to be “set apart” (which happens to be the definition of holy), I must be and live differently.

As Nadia Comaneci puts it,

Friend, no one ever accomplishes your dreams for you, regardless of tears, fits, or any other means of manipulation. They can give you ideas and direction, but in the end, you have to do it alone. You must figure out your own destination and the best route to get there because no one else knows the way.

Source: Nadia Comaneci, Letters to a Young Gymnast (New York: Basic Books, 2004), p. 6.

I’ve been feeling slammed lately–not slammed as in drunk, but slammed as in kicked while I’m down. It seems like we’ve taken a bit of a beating (my family that is) the last several months in many areas–my husband’s job, financially, with our kids and in our marriage. It’s somewhat reminiscent of my childhood days at the beach when a wave would knock me down and then just as I would get my footing another one would nail me.

But I’m doing my best to “sit in it.” This is one of the most valuable lessons I learned from my parents. “Sittin’ in it” does not only mean facing and accepting those things in life that I really would prefer not to, but it also means not finding an “easy” way out or employing a destructive escape mechanism to avoid the pain altogether.

Please note, it isn’t about exposing myself to undue torment just for the heck of it or to prove some sort of sick point. It’s about realizing there will be difficult times in life and learning to embrace what the suffering will produce in me. The ability to “sit in it” only happens when I know in my soul that God is trustworthy and that He really does know what’s best for me. In a nutshell, I have to trust that God sees a larger purpose in my current situation; while I can only see my immediate circumstances, He sees the big picture. And praise Him for that.

A great illustration of this is a photomosaic. A photomosaic is one large picture made up of a bunch of little tiny pictures. From my perspective, I only see the tiny individual pictures. But God sees the larger picture and knows each individual picture is part of the beautiful whole.

One of my favorite verses:

Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.
(James 1:2-4, NLT)

We have a bathroom in our house that has an ugly yellow sink. It has me a bit stumped as far as decorating goes. I’d prefer white but don’t want to shell out the cash for a new one–it’s not that important to me. I contemplated painting it or trying to work it into the decorating scheme somehow but I’ve left that bathroom untouched because I just don’t know what to do with it. It’s not something that I’ve lost sleep over, just something that bugs me.

So an interesting thing happened. I was taking a walk with my kids yesterday when I spotted a sink on the side of the road ready for the garbage truck. (It appeared someone was renovating their bathroom and didn’t need the sink anymore.) It was white, the right size and in good shape. The only thing I didn’t like about it was the faucet but I figured it’s better to buy a new faucet than to buy a new sink. So I went home, got the car and loaded it up. “Sweet!” I thought.

Then I went on a quest to see how much a new faucet would cost me. Bottom line: at least $40. A new faucet isn’t worth $40 to me either. OK, so maybe I’ll have to put up with an ugly faucet. Better that than a yellow sink. I decided to be grateful for the white sink.

So then I was out running this morning and guess what I found on the side of the road? Right. A white sink, right size, in good shape but this time, decent hardware. I don’t know what the chances are of finding two sinks on the side of the road (i.e. free) within 15 hours of each other, but hey, I wasn’t asking questions.

When I came home with my second sink this morning, my husband asked, “What are you going to do with two sinks? Maybe you should go into the sink business.” (Though sarcastic he figured there was method to my madness as there usually is–whether he agrees with it or not.) I told him my plan to replace our ugly yellow sink to which he replied, “That’s cool–it’s like an unprayed-for answer to prayer.” My thoughts exactly.

Admittedly, it was probably silly, definitely insignificant and not very important in the big scheme of things but I was pretty stoked. I don’t want to overspiritualize it but I wonder if God worked it out for me not only to find a free sink, but to find two so I could choose–just because He can. I’m sure some would say that as I was enjoying my little scavenger hunt God was more likely directing His attention toward world peace and issues of that caliber. Yeah I’m sure He was, but He’s God so I say He was also enjoying my little adventure at the same time. I say He really is interested in the small details of our lives and He enjoys giving us good things. How do I know? Check out Matthew 10:30 and James 1:17.

I recently read an article in Charisma magazine entitled “Why Is the Church So Fat?” by Kara Davis, M.D. (also the author of Spiritual Secrets to Weight Loss). Talk about thought-provoking!

Because I wouldn’t characterize myself as obese, I was initially reading the article with an “holier-than-thou” attitude. But conviction quickly set in when I read the following:

Even though excess and indulgence are the norm for the world’s system, the Word of God admonishes us to control our appetites. We are encouraged to crucify these tendencies and choose a lifestyle marked by sobriety and moderation. Many Christians struggle with obesity for no reason other than an unwillingness to reject the worldly tendency toward self-indulgence and excess.

How do you know if this is your problem? Examine your behavior.

Is the first serving never quite enough? Are you compelled to eat in response to the sight, smell or taste of food in the absence of real hunger? Are you reluctant to set dietary restrictions–even at the advice of a nurse or physician–if it means sacrificing enjoyment?

Busted…on all three counts. I realized that even though eating may not be a weight issue for me, it certainly is a heart issue. Just because I don’t tend toward obesity does not mean I have free license to eat what I want, when I want and how much I want. I’m still responsible to avoid gluttony (Proverbs 23:19-20, Philippians 3:17-21) despite my ability to “hide” it.

Source: Davis, Kara. “Why Is the Church So Fat?” Charisma July 2004: 44-48.

My husband and I will celebrate 7 years of marriage this month. In the big scheme of things, seven years really isn’t that long. However, I do contend that it has provided ample opportunity to reflect on where we’ve been and how we would do things differently if given the chance.

There’s no doubt about it, marriage is tough–it has been for us anyway. The first year was particularly hard and I remember wanting out of the marriage desperately. I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life. In fact, one day I remember telling the Lord that the absolute only reason I was staying in the marriage was because I had promised Him I would.

What’s interesting is that my husband was feeling exactly the same way although I didn’t know it at the time. We now share with other couples that we would absolutely be divorced today if we were not operating under the belief that in our circumstance, divorce was simply not an option.

We obviously live in a time when divorce is commonplace and marriage is often taken lightly. Tragically, the divorce rate within the church mirrors the divorce rate outside of the church. In order to stop the cycle and spare ourselves and our children the negative consequences of broken marriages and broken homes, it is imperative that Christians model strong, healthy relationships. This means taking marriage seriously, choosing a mate wisely and taking responsibility for your own actions as an individual and as a spouse.

My family and I have spent much of the last four weeks traveling. We’ve accomplished a lot while on the road–time spent with family, a leadership conference, a high school reunion, a vacation with friends–but there’s nothin’ quite like coming home again. I must admit, it’s mainly my bed I miss. There’s nothing particularly special about my bed other than it’s comfy and familiar. (I once slept on one of those beds that allows you to choose your preferred level of firmness by pushing a button. Now that was something to write home about.) I rarely sleep well when away so getting a good night’s sleep again is awesome.

At the risk of overly spiritualizing it, I was thinking about how it will be when we get to heaven–our permanent home. In John 14:2-3, Jesus talks of the Father’s house having many rooms and he says, “When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.” If “going home” on earth is so great, what must it be like to “go home” to heaven? The Bible doesn’t give us a whole lot of detail but we know it will be better than we can even begin to imagine. I have one friend who believes God purposely didn’t provide much detail about heaven in Scripture because if we really knew how amazing it is, we’d all commit suicide to get there faster. Hmmm…..

I personally can’t wait to live in an environment void of anything bad, negative or painful. Think of the top three things in your life that weigh you down. Now think of how it would be to live without them. On top of that, think of the best moments of your life and imagine living with the feelings they produce for eternity. Awesome.

Toward the end of my first pregnancy, I became a little concerned with how I would shed all the “baby fat” I had accumulated during those nine Big Mac-filled months. (How’s that for a craving?) I repeatedly heard that I shouldn’t have any problem losing the weight, especially since I was planning to breast feed. “Oh, don’t worry,” they’d say, “those unwanted pounds will just fall off.” Right.

I’m not sure why, but I gave myself six months to lose the weight and when six months came and went and the weight did not, I was frustrated. It became a daily ritual to stand naked in front of the bathroom mirror, grabbing those pockets of fat that I really wished were gone. This was accompanied, of course, by a fair amount of complaining and a little whining. Finally my husband couldn’t take it any longer. One day he calmly said, “I don’t want to hear any more complaining until you’re willing to do something about it.” Speaking the truth in love. Gotta love that.

Even though I was slightly annoyed by his comment at first, I decided he was right. I guess it was just the kick in the rear I needed to begin working on my self-discipline. So I started running. Let me be clear. I do not like running. In fact, I think I hate it. But once I started seeing results (which took way too long by the way), I decided it was worth it. I also happen to be one of those types that thrives on routine. Therefore, if something gets stuck in my routine, it’s really stuck. (Side note: This personality characteristic is good and bad. When it comes to running? Good. When it comes to my sweet tooth? Bad.)

So now I run four times a week and I basically loathe each step. There are very few days I experience even the slightest hint of enjoyment. But like I said, the results make it worth it. I feel good, I fit in my clothes again and I sleep better. Quite unexpectedly, I’ve discovered another advantage to running. It has to do with my spiritual life. My physical running has become a tangible, felt (VERY felt on most days) reminder of my need for spiritual discipline as well. I have a genuine desire to be spiritually “fit” and like most Americans, when I want something, I want it now. But quick shortcuts rarely lead to genuine results. Gold medals are not won without years of discipline beforehand.

Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win. All athletes practice strict self control. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should.
(I Corinthians 9:24-27, NLT)

Run on women!