withpurpose » Blog Archive » My TIME experience

So, now I’ve had a little time to reflect on the TIME article. It was good.

That’s all.

But I’ve never been interviewed for a publication like TIME—or any publication for that matter—and I’d just like to say a few words about the experience.

You know how it is when you know exactly what you’re trying to say and you think you are really, really normal, but then you realize that in fact, you’re not normal at all? Yeah, it’s like that. Because let’s face it, I’m weird. Yes, weird. Oh, it’s not bad, it just is. See, I think I’m just like every other normal, 32-year-old female in America, but really, that’s just me thinking I am.

But what I really want to talk about is Lisa Cullen, the author of this article. I mean, how often do you take note of the writer of an article? I never do. But this time, there’s a person behind the name and it’s high time someone paid a little attention.

So, here are the top 5 things I appreciate about Lisa Cullen, staff writer for TIME magazine:

She listened to me. For over an hour. While I gabbed. Incessantly. She even made me feel like I was interesting.
Her daughter’s name is Mika. I like this name. Good names often come from good people.
She said nice things about my picture which totally boosted my ego. (For full disclosure’s sake, I suppose I should have told her that that picture is several years old, taken while I was still a twentysomething. And did I tell you I recently found a long, dark hair growing out of a mole on my face? Just like really old people. And another thing, upon close inspection, it’s clear that the hairs on my chin can no longer be described as “peach fuzz.” Oh how I long for just fuzz. And the thing I want to know is, why have I suddenly started sprouting? I bet Lisa doesn’t have facial hair.
Clearly, she’s intelligent. If you read her stuff, you’ll see that she uses big words. I like smart people. They’re interesting. Even if I can’t understand what they’re saying.
But by far the most endearing thing about Lisa Cullen, New York-based staff writer for TIME, is that she’s got issues. Stomach issues in her case. She talks freely about blood and guts and colons and stuff. Issues? Now that’s something I can relate to.

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I love Lisa too. I visit her blog everyday whether she posts or not. She visits mine (although not nearly that often). She has sent me encouraging email and funny notes. She asked me the funniest thing about my name the first time we corresponded. She really is interested in people. Unique for the press nowadays.

Amy, I just saw the Time article. Congrats! I am so glad that you came back to the blogging world. I missed you!
Alida

I haven’t visited your blog in a while, but saw you in the Time article. So cool!

I’m new at this and just discovered that there was even a website for non-traditional pastor’s wives. I’m a 50+ rebel who never imagined herself a minister’s wife! I saw the Time’s article and was just amazed. I thought that I was a failure because I can’t sing (just ask my mother), can’t play the piano, and cannot “quote scripture”. Never the less, I am so excited about this new aspect of my life. I’m into Bible Study (although argumenative) and active in the “Women’s Groups”, I do not desire to be a clone of my mother and grandmother. Someone out there help me, please! Sharon

This was the 1st time I had read any of her articles and I was absolutely amazed. I work 60 hours a wk. Keep up with a Softball & Soccer daughter, plus chase a grandaughter when my son needs a babysitter. When I married my wonderful husband this was not exactly what I thought it would be, but God had better plans. No, I cannot play the piano and I do sing some with my husband. But, my love for the lost and the community has changed my life. I LOVE Bible School. To see the children learn a little more each day and have have so much fun. 12 days at work is nothing. I will never be a typical PW,but now it seems to be the normal way of life.
This article hit the way most PW need to support and keep and life of their own.

I did not know such a website existed. I am so glad to have found it. I am a very non-traditional pastor’s wife. I often talk about things that freaks out my women’s group. I work as a Home Health Nurse also. I never have and never will sing in the choir, but I love to jam in my car. I’m a bit of a rocker. Married to a staunch Presbyterian minister.

I wish I could say that I am “thrilled” to be a minister’s wife but, there are times, I just am not. Maybe it is because since we moved here, we came in at a time when one of the churches was having trouble keeping its members; most left and took their membership to a much larger and newer church 15 miles north of us and several decided to spread the word to my daughter’s classmates/friends that maybe their children might not want to get involved with us–all over the fact that I would not bend for another member who insisted I make my husband and the committee do something I knew I had no right to tell them to do. Then, there are both churches who have members that I just love, so when I think about that, I am fine. I think moving so far away from our families and friends and home church was what hurt the most and at a time that my husband had to chose to take a church now, or lose the associate position he had under the direction of a senior minister who was causing so much friction, along with 3 other members who did not like my husband. There are times I have prayed that perhaps he made a mistake to take the call; he has a teaching certificate or could have farmed with his Dad. In other words, take the easy way out and just stay put and not worry about ever having to move again. I love the church, I love the idea of serving but I just wish there was not so much stress and pressure behind the role of being a minister’s wife.

Where did the title “Pastor’s/Minister’s wife” come from anyway? My mother-in-law is not known as “the farmer’s wife.” A teacher’s wife is not known as “the teacher’s wife.” So why so much pressure to begin with on a family where it is the spouse who has the job or calling of the church?

I am so glad this site exists. I too have wished my husband would pick another professsion instead of the ministry. However, I did not want to stand in the way of what God has planned for him and me for that matter. I didn’t want to have to answer for that on judgement day. The expectations are the same for me in the methodist church. The music directors want me on the choir, some people feel i should wear hats (but they give me a headache!), and my husband is constantly asking me to “sacrifice” for this and that. My main concern is holding on to my identity and interests. I pray we all have success in knowing ourselves while being what God and our husbands need for us to do.

Lisa was very wonderful, wasn’t she? It was quite an interesting experience, and from the reaction that I have gotten, it looks like it really did hit home with a lot of PW’s and PK’s too.

(I like the “I have issues.” So do I)

What a great site!

I am a PW of about three years now. I am a second grade teacher and a friend of mine at work gave me the Time article. Wow! What timing! I am totally not the typical PW. But I am so glad to find this website. Finally, other PWs who get it!

I found your site via the Time article and I’ve gotta tell you what a breath of fresh air you are. Very real and honest…and I need to see more of that from other PWs. Honestly, I’m still processing the Time article. The page of photos was a turn-off for me. I wanna see some jeans and flip-flops instead of perfectly coiffed and well dressed “first-ladies”. THAT’S what being real is all about to me and if we can’t be real, what’s the point?

Horray for you Amy! Horray for this article and someone finally standing up to say, that We Are Pastor’s Wives and We Do Have Problems. I love it. I’m so glad you’re back to blogging.

Wow! I just read the article in Time. It’s amazingly true. It’s great to learn that I am NOT totally alone in how I feel as the wife of a Pastor. It’s alot like parenting, you go into it with no experience and feel like you can not fail. No pressure there (ha)!

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